Canadian Rockies '18: More About That Band of Brothers

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends
who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles Swindoll

I work in an environment in which I enjoy thousands of "relationships". I have 2,465 "friends" on Facebook. In an age in which casual and often superficial relationships have become the norm, I think we all long for deep, meaningful relationship with... friends. I think of the guys I ride with as a band of brothers. We have faith in Christ as a foundation of our relationship. We pray - not only for one another, but for our wives and families. We cry together. We'll do anything for one another without regard for ourselves. (That's what love is, by the way.) And we laugh. A lot. Hysterically, at times, until it becomes a bit challenging to ride as our eyes are filled with happy tears.

My hope for every one of my friends and acquaintances is that you would have

a friend or two or three or more who are there for you - no matter what.

So what can I tell you about these guys? What makes for a special bond that seems so rare these days? I'm not sure I'm sure at all - but I think I'll take a run at articulating some things we've discovered... some things that we have developed naturally...  without really trying.

1. Longevity might have something to do with the depth of relationship we enjoy. I've know some of these guys for almost 30 years. We have history.
2. There's no agenda driving our friendship. We aren't business associates. We aren't trying to get something from one another. In fact, it seems everyone is more about giving than getting. I think this results in a purity of relationship that is rare. We're just... friends.
3. We have things in common. We're all on a faith journey that transcends any motorcycle journey. We understand priorities, and will always elevate family relationships above our own little "club". We share an appreciation for motorcycles and the open road. We're all just a little bit abnormal... a little bit crazy... and we kind of revel in our own brand of lunacy. I mean, these guys will look at a 820-mile day, smile, and say, "Let's go for it." Who does that?
4. We understand that what one of us might not be able to do on our own... when facing challenges that might make us want to throw in the towel and head for the house... we can lock arms, encourage one another, press on, and see things through. This might be as simple as a missed turn on the Back of the Dragon that resulted in one friend being off course and ready to set sail for home. It might be encouraging one another off a mountain road in Yosemite when the night was blacker than any dark I've ever seen. Or it might be hearing the news of a medical diagnosis that shook us to our core. We've found that the most daunting challenges imaginable are manageable when we face those circumstances with... friends.
5. It might be that we communicate often. Most of the time, our communication is via text - but that's the easiest way for us to all to be in the conversation. It's conversation that does not require an immediate response. Sometimes, it'll be hours before someone weighs in on a subject due to other things going on. But we always weigh in. Because the banter... the communication... keeps us in touch with other. The banter helps us to reinforce the understanding we have each developed about each other. Sometimes the interaction is silliness at the highest form. Sometimes the messages are about ride-planning updates. Or health or family updates. All of these are important. Perhaps most important is just staying in touch. I see examples of people drifting apart far too often. I see marriages fracture because of lack of communication. In the furious pace of my life, I've been accused of failing to communicate effectively. So I work overtime to stay in touch with those I care about in order to maintain relationships I value. By the way... there's a spiritual parallel here: We desire and sometimes take for granted a relationship with God. But we fail to communicate. Is it any wonder we often find ourselves disconnected from the One who formed us and the One who has our best interests at heart? "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17) is a puzzling concept until we condition ourselves to stay in tune with our God at all times... in every circumstance... when facing every challenge... when making every decision. And then there's the Bible. It is God's written communication with us. It is living and active, still speaking to members of the human race if we will just read and "listen". Okay... enough of that soapbox that is so central to who I am! Let's just consider communicating regularly with God, with our significant other, with our kids, our grandkids (woo hoo!!), and with friends.
6. I'll add one more and then stop for now: Honesty and integrity characterize these men I consider a band of brothers. They are good men. They are honest men. They are upright in their relationships with family, with business associates, and with one another. All of this results in trust - and I trust these men with my life. I would even let one of them ride my motorcycle if I had to. (I think I would, anyway.) I've always taught my kids that they can tell the truth 99 times, lie to me once - and the one instance of poor judgement will serve to undermine trust. I am so glad I have never had a reason, even once, of questioning the character or integrity of these friends. I trust them - and that means a lot  these days.

Finally, I will leave you with this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: The only way to have a friend is to be one. Perhaps Proverbs 18:24 served as a backdrop for Emerson's thinking... A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (New Kings James version of the Bible)

Whether you choose Emerson or the Bible as your guide in this, if you are longing for deep, meaningful relationships with friends, start by being a friend.