I don't like getting old. I know, I hear it all the time: It's better than the alternative. And I suppose it is. But you know what? Until 2013 or so, I still processed life and experience as though I was 24. That was the year I married my best friend. We were full of life and embraced every experience. We were always eager to see what rounding the next corner would bring. To say our lives have been reflections of the goodness and graciousness of our God would be an understatement. My favorite modern worship song is entitled Goodness of Good. At the chorus we sing "All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able I will sing of the goodness of God." That's my jam. It's my testimony. Even today, as an old guy - because as I sing it, I think of the blessings of God we have experienced from the 30,000-foot perspective - I realize how blessed we really are.
But we're getting old. My birthday is in early May. So another one is coming. But at my most recent, I hit the dreaded 65 number. How can this be? I am officially a legacy adult. I could join AARP. I get the senior discount at movie theaters and some restaurants. I'll say it again: I don't like it.
I think old would be okay if health concerns were not a factor. Those who know us are aware that I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2013. God is good, and I'm still going - but I realized I couldn't pretend I was 24 anymore. I lost a step.
In 2017, I underwent six rounds of chemo and, while the treatments weren't really that bad in many respects, I had to accept the reality that my body was impacted by all of that. And I lost another step.
In the fall of 2022, I hit a major bump in the road. I came to the hospital late one evening (the same facility where I am today) with a kidney stone that was causing excruciating pain. To make a long story as short as I can, it took eight surgeries to repair the damage that was done in that attempt to treat me. Worse than all of that, though, was that something in all of the treatment and all of the sedentary lifestyle during recovery affected my mobility. It was tragic for the guy who still thought of himself as young and active. I couldn't run with my grands. I had a hard time keeping up at theme parks. I groan inwardly when I sees stairs that must be navigated. I lost more than a step this time around. And it's been hard to accept.
But all is not bad as we continue to run our race. There is value in wisdom acquired over the years. My greatest joy in these days is found in encouraging those who come behind us to take the long look at life and expectations. I love to encourage young men and women to explore their gifting and their calling, and so step into their full potential in Christ. Some who read these lines will know we've engaged in those very conversations.
Psalm 90:12 provides this instruction: "So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Can I infer from this that there is some sort of parallel between the number of our days and the depth of wisdom we obtain or can impart? I believe there is. So perhaps growing old is not all bad.
My favorite Proverb is number 2. I won't share the ancient text here because I would love for you to grab your Bible (or find it online) and read it for the first time or for the first time in a long time. But this old guy will encourage you with this: If you seek it [wisdom] like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom...
So if getting old allows me to impart tidbits of wisdom and experience garnered over the years to my kids, to my grands, to colleagues, to the downcast... I guess getting old is worth it in some ways.
But I still don't like it.
